fUKT

If a tattoo is your biggest regret then you don’t havd much to worry about.

mliaverage:

Today, my 5 year old sister was trying to learn subtraction. The teacher asked “If you had 10 chocolate bars, and you ate 6 of them, what would you get?” my sister replied “You would get fat.” MLIA.

Today, I went to walmart. I saw my social studies teacher there. He said, “why aren’t you at school?” To which I replied, “why aren’t you at work?” We both promised never to speak of this again. MLIA.

(via papertissue)

mliaverage:

My work had a staff party with a Titanic theme. Everyone else wore old fashioned clothes or went as sailors. I went as the iceberg. I won the prize. MLIA